saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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