i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
