Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
