im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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