not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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