May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
