I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
