I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂