So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So vagazzling was a success