Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.