You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me