You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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