Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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