Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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