this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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