If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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