How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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