ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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