who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
