you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize