My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Everclear isn't food dammit
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
