I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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