nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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