He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
