You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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