i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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