walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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