i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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