dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
