out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
