What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
