Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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