I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I have fence marks all over my body
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
