You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize