This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
