Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
