Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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