When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
