I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
