You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
