Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
