There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
