also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just tell him i said nine months
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize