So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
