Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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