break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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