I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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