i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's official drugs can't kill me
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
