called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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