we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
