god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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