i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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