And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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