3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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