if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
