So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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