Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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