He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
