what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i believe in u and ur pee
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
