I'm so fucking centered right now
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
