i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
