Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
